


Beautiful Chaos

by gelsxx



Category: TWICE - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/F, Minor Character Death, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24091375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gelsxx/pseuds/gelsxx
Summary: What happens when NAYEON a simple girl who just transferred school cross paths with MINA a popular girl who has a dismal past and a rather wicked reputation?A complete ((beautiful)) chaos.Disclaimer: This story is pure fiction only and does not reflect Twice in any way.Loosely based in one of my favorite mangas. Enjoy :)
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Myoui Mina, Im Nayeon/Myoui Mina, Im Nayeon/Yoo Jeongyeon
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. Fall

_Beneath this endless sky…where are you right now? Who did you meet today? What did you talk about? Where did you go? When was the last time you thought about me? Who are you in love with?_

  
  
  


_I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath before I opened the door. This class room, I was here….we were here. I open my eyes as I scan the entire surrounding and I can’t help but smile realizing that nothing really changed, except me. I walk towards the desk where I used to sit…suddenly the memories come rushing right before my eyes. I can hear the laugh and the giggles of my classmates…the steps echoing the corridors, and for the first time in a very long time, I felt as if I was 18 again._

  
  
  


_We were all just some teenagers, figuring out what we wanted to be. But everything changed when I met her. It’s crazy to think how one person can change you, can affect you like no one else. Although fate didn’t take our side and we had more bad memories than good ones, I always find myself coming back to her. I was in love with her, and I am still…and I don’t think I can ever unlove her. Sometimes I wonder if she really felt the same way about me, after all that happened, I hope she did._

  
  
  


_She burned holes in my chest that no one can fill but her. I know one day she will find her way back to me. But maybe I’m just making a fool of myself by thinking there’s a slight possibility that that will happen. But after all, I was always the one who’s optimistic._

  
  
  


_It was 10 years ago when I first saw her; the memories are vaguely sculpted right in the back of my mind. She was only 17 years old then but the reality that she has to constantly deal with was even larger than her._

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


**10 years ago**

  
  
  


I was a junior transferee back then. My dad got recently promoted so we have to move to a different place. I was really excited because the new school means meeting new friends, new textbooks and new experience. Everyone’s ecstatic about being reunited with their own cliques. The girls in my class however were so absorbed in talking about some certain girl in my class and all I hear is….

  
  
  


“Did you get a chance to talk to Mina today?”

  
  
  


“She’s really attractive…”

  
  
  


But I really didn’t care at that time. I was more concerned about my Math test just like any other student.

  
  
  


I sat in the park alone to avoid the noise in the classroom. I took a deep breath as I put the paper on my lap. My subconscious was praying to God that I passed this one. Math has not been so good to me. Though I worked hard and stayed up all night studying, I still ended up confused and left out.

  
  
  


I turned my gaze slowly to the upper right side of the paper. My frustration grew even more when I saw my score. Damn it.

  
  
  


“8 out of 30!?” I guess my best wasn’t good enough then” I said to myself.

  
  
  


I tried flipping the page again and again. I groan realizing that even if I stare at it for hours and hours, the score wouldn’t change itself. I bent down and hugged my knees to suppress the feeling of defeat.

  
  
  


“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” My eyes went wide when I heard someone. I quickly stood up and examined the park. I thought I was getting delusional knowing I was the only one here. Until I saw someone leaning on the tree. She was looking so calm, so at ease. I furrowed my eyebrows then walked my way towards her.

  
  
  


“Not when I got an 8. I totally have the right to be hard on myself,” I blurted out. I can hear the disappointment in my words. Maybe I just needed someone who would listen to me.

  
  
  


She opened her eyes slowly and then fixed her brown eyes at me. She giggled and then shook her head. I don’t know but I felt offended. So I ended up asking her what score she got. I was standing in front of her as she handed me her test paper. She got 30 out of 30. She aced the math test. How could someone do that? I asked myself. My face flushed crimson red as I handed her back the paper. Her eyes were closed again. I stared at my feet, hoping she wouldn’t notice how embarrassed I was.

  
  
  


“Sorry,” I turned my back and then walked slowly away from her to avoid the awkward situation.

  
  
  


“Hey,” she said. My heart stopped for a moment. I was really nervous. I turned around and saw her smiling from ear to ear at me. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, trying to say something.

  
  
  


“What?” I didn’t really notice the name on her test paper, but still I knew exactly who she was. I knew it by heart.

  
  
  


“Sit down?” For a very unknown reason, the world seems to stop. All I can see is her; everything else was a complete blur. Her eyes were sparkling, I was completely swept off my feet. My blood was rushing to my head. It felt as if everybody could hear my heart beating.

  
  
  


I nodded and smiled at her. We sit down in complete silence for what seems like forever. But I didn’t really mind. The silence was supposed to be awkward knowing that we didn’t really know each other but it was the complete opposite. The silence was surprisingly comforting. I suddenly forgot about everything else…like time doesn’t exist at all. Oh how I wish I could just stay like this forever.

  
  
  


I stare at her, studying her whole face. How could anyone do nothing but still manage to look stunning? Her eyelashes are so long. Although there’s a dark circle under her eyes, she still looks insanely beautiful. And her lips, it looks so soft and red. Everyone’s description about her was right.

  
  
  


“So, you’re Myoui Mina, right?” I asked, breaking the silence. She opened her eyes again, her face was unreadable. “You’re smart, huh?” I added.

  
  
  


“Well at least I don’t get 8 points…” we both chuckled. “What’s your name?” she asked.

  
  
  


“I’m Im Nayeon,” I looked down to my knotted fingers to hide my burning cheeks, “So, I guess you’re good at everything? No flaws at all..”

  
  
  


She kinked an eyebrow and smirked, “Me? That’s not true. I mean maybe there are just some things where you’re good at, and there’s things you’re bad at. But I don’t really think I am as good as you expect me to be.”

  
  
  


“Uh, no way! Don’t deny it. You’re so carefree” It’s true, she looks so confident.

  
  
  


“I guess, I really don’t like being popular..you know. With both girls and guys here in school.”

  
  
  


“What!?” I asked in disbelief. How could anyone hate being popular? Everyone wants to be popular just like her. “Why do y-“ before I could continue she cut me off.

  
  
  


“I don’t like girls who are unfaithful,” I was caught off guard when she said that. A lot of questions entered my head but I couldn't say them. I thought she was just playing around but seeing her face so serious, I can tell that she really meant it.

  
  
  


“What? Look who’s talking. Don’t you yourself have a lot of guys and even girls if I must say…” she suddenly grinned. I wish she would smile more because she definitely looks breathtaking when she does.

  
  
  


“Believe me; although I may not look like it…I will only love one person. I am loyal.”

  
  
  


“Really?” I raised an eyebrow “Okay then, let’s just say the person you love cheats on you. What will y- “

  
  
  


She leans in and puts her hand around my neck. My eyes went wide because I totally didn’t expect that at all.

  
  
  


“I will probably kill her,” she fixed her eyes right through mine as if she was scrutinizing my soul. We stared at each other for a moment. I was supposed to be scared because she didn’t take off her hand on my neck, but I didn’t. I was more perplexed that she showed this side of her. She thought she looked so tough but I can see the vulnerability right through her. Her eyes, although they look amazing, I feel the indifference…they look blank.

  
  
  


“Just kidding,” she said grinning. And just like that she grabbed the bag beside her and walked away from me. I blink rapidly, absorbing what just happened. I was frozen for a moment until I found myself calling for her name.

  
  
  


“Hey, Mina!” she turned around and then furrowed her eyebrows waiting for me to say something.

  
  
  


“You can tell me your problems anytime” I blurted before I could bite my tongue. I don’t know where that came from but I feel the need to say it.

  
  
  


She smiled again, but this time I didn’t really believe it. It looked as if it was forced.

  
  
  


“I don’t have any,” she walked slowly before turning around again, “Problems…are something that only living people have, right?” I stared at her blankly trying to comprehend what she means. Was she saying that she’s dead? I don’t know but I couldn’t really think straight at that moment.

  
  
  


“Goodbye, Nayeon” she took a deep breath and then waved at me. My heart was throbbing the whole time. I haven’t felt this way before. I watch her as she disappears right before my eyes.

  
  
  


From that moment, I thought to myself that if I were just to leave her alone…she looked as if she was about to fall apart.

There was an unexplainable aura around her. It was a mist that wouldn’t rise. A state of blankness that she couldn’t see herself through. I didn’t even know exactly who she was but I felt like I needed to look after her. To support her. I wanted to talk to her even more, to know more about her. At this point, I found myself drawn to Myoui Mina.

  
  
  
  


*

  
  
  


I was elected as the class president of our class. Obviously, I didn’t have to flatter myself of the thought that they elected me because I was responsible enough. I know everyone just doesn’t want any responsibilities so they end up electing the transferee which is me. I didn’t have the chance to reject it so I ended up saying yes anyways.

  
  
  


I turned to my left to see what the brown-eyed girl was doing. She was seated in the rightmost corner of the classroom beside the window. I wasn’t really surprised when I saw her looking outside staring blankly at the sky. She acts like she doesn’t care about anything at all. I don’t know if I should love that side of her or not. Sometimes, I wonder why she gets high scores on exams when all she ever does is either sleep or drift in her own little world.

  
  
  


P.E. was our next period. Our teacher told the class to group themselves into four groups. Since I was the “class president” I wasn’t included. The teacher told me to just write down the winner and the loser of the game. I sigh in relief knowing that sport isn’t my thing. Sometimes I think to myself that electing a “class president” is just an excuse for the teachers to not do their job.

  
  
  


The whole marathon game was just going smoothly until it was Chaeyoung, Dahyun, Mina and her bestfriend Jeongyeon’s turn. They were all doing an amazing job. Well just as I expected, all the girls in the class were cheering for Mina, including myself. Unlike the other girls though who are going hysterics, I chose to keep calm. I was just standing there holding my teacher’s record book, I was supposed to not be biased since I was the scorer but I can’t help myself but route for Mina. Jeongyeon’s the one leading but Mina’s not that far from her. Not long enough, the brown eyed girl was speeding up and passed through Jeongyeon, winning the game. I can’t help but smile seeing her raising her hand indicating that she won. I was just enjoying staring at Mina when one of my classmates came up to me.

  
  
  


“Hey, Nayeon! Are you cheering for Jeongyeon or for Mina?” Jihyo said, giving me a smirk.

  
  
  


“I’m not really cheering for any of them,” I tried my best to not look obvious.

  
  
  


“Ha! I know! It's Mina, right?” Tzuyu butt in then giggled poking me on my shoulder.

  
  
  


“No! Guys that’s so childish” I said rolling my eyes “I mean, why is the attention always on Mina? Right, Momo?” I turned around to my seatmate Momo, who was just standing by herself, alone. She’s such a loner, I don’t know why. I keep trying to be friends with her but she always rejects me when I reach out.

  
  
  


“I hate her,” she said with indifference in her voice. I wasn’t really shocked; I mean, she was that kind of person who wears thick eyeglasses and hates everyone. She doesn’t really talk much in class. So I just brushed it off and faced Tzuyu and Jihyo again.

  
  
  


“See? See? Not all girls like Mina. That girl sees nothing good on her.”

  
  
  


“Yeah?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

  
  
  


“Yeah, okay. She’s smart, she’s really good at sports…and uhhh she’s attractive.” Jihyo chuckled in front of me but before she could tease me, I spoke up again, “But I don’t really get her sometimes, you know? All she ever does in class is sleep. Sometimes she tends to be arrogant and full of herself maybe it’s because of her popularity in schooI.”

  
  
  


I said everything negative to make myself less suspicious about liking her. “I don’t really understand why almost all the students like her. I mean if two out of three girls here in school like her, I belong to the remaining third of people.” I said while forcing a laugh. Everything I said was definitely not true but I kept going to make Jihyo stop teasing me. I was so ‘in-character’ that I didn’t notice Jihyo wiggling her eyebrows implying that there’s someone behind me.

  
  
  


I turned around and saw Mina. My eyes went wide realizing that she heard what I just said.

  
  
  


“So you could do fractions, yeah? But before you could talk about me…I guess you better take proper record first Ms. Class president. That was my win.” She hissed and took the record book from my hand.

  
  
  


“Hey easy there Mina, she’s our class representative,” Jeongyeon tried calming the brown-eyed girl

  
  
  


“Yeah, I know. I happened to talk to her once and she got so eager. She’s easy,” she said, not turning away her glance on the record book. I cannot believe what she said. I’m easy? How? She said that effortlessly as if she doesn’t care about my feelings at all.

  
  
  


“I’m easy?” I asked in a low voice.

  
  
  


“Yeah, you just talked to me and the next second you’re telling me that I can tell you my problems, remember? Isn't it easy girls like that?” she looks up at me and hands me back the record book. “You just wanted to look good in front of people, right?”

  
  
  


“Mina, that’s enough,” Jeongyeon said as she puts her hand over the brown-eyed girl’s shoulder.

  
  
  


“Don’t make any promises if you don’t really mean it. You’re not really helping,” Mina added.

  
  
  


I really can’t stand this. I didn’t really think she was that rude until now. I mean did she really think about me that way? It wasn’t really what I expected. I was so mad so I ended up hitting her arm with the record book.

  
  
  


“What was that for!?” she rubs her arm and glares at me.

  
  
  


“What I said in the park…I meant it.” I can feel the tear building in both sides of my eyes but I tried my best to hold it in. “I was really worried about you,” I can feel the lump in my throat. I felt as if my heart was being stabbed by hundreds of knives all at once. “You look hurt, that’s why,” my voice cracked and that’s it. I broke into sobs.

  
  
  


“Oh God, I hate people like you,” I looked at her in disbelief and ran away.

  
  
  


Hours went by so fast and before I could realize it was time for homeroom class. Different students started talking about the little concert event that’s going to happen next week. We basically only had one week to pick a song and practice it before we could perform in front of the teachers and the parents. Since I was the ‘class-president’ I was the one assigned to handle our own class.

  
  
  


I was completely out of it because of what happened earlier but I tried my best to look okay. I sighed as I wrote different songs on the board for the class to choose. I turned around and asked them to help me choose a song but I was completely disappointed when I realized that no one’s really paying attention. They are already packing their things and ready to leave.

  
  
  


“You can choose a song by yourself Nayeon,” Dahyun said as she left the room.

  
  
  


“Yeah, or you can perform by yourself,” Chaeyoung suggested following Dahyun outside.

  
  
  


“But guys…we need to do this all together,” I could already feel the frustration building inside me.

  
  
  


I saw Momo walking towards the door and I quickly blocked her way. “Hey, Momo! You could play the piano, right?”

  
  
  


“I’m sorry but I have something to do.”

  
  
  


Before I could say a word again, everyone left the room except Jeongyeon, Mina and I. I looked down and bit my lip feeling extremely embarrassed that I can’t even handle responsibilities like this. I guess being the class president sucks after all. Suddenly, Mina stood up and also left the room, I was kind of expecting it. I took a deep breath feeling defeated, once again.

  
  
  


“Uhmm, Nayeon?” I looked up and saw Jeongyeon moving towards me. “You know we c-“ but before she could continue someone opened the door, it was Mina.

  
  
  


“Quickly, come in,” she said and was followed by Dahyun and Chaeyoung and the rest of our classmates. I instantly felt a tingling feeling inside my stomach. Why is she doing this? Earlier she doesn’t really care about what I feel and now she’s being nice to me. Is she trying to mess up with my feelings?

  
  
  


“This girl is so bossy, why you gotta be like that?” Dahyun said, teasing Mina.

  
  
  


“That’s because she wanted to learn how to sing. She’s basically tone-deaf,” Chaeyoung interjected.

  
  
  


“Shut up,” Mina said with a small smile. The rest of the class starts laughing.

  
  
  


“Who would’ve thought that Myoui Mina is actually not good at something”

  
  
  


“She’s horrible actually.”

  
  
  


Everyone’s giggling and I can’t stop the smile forming on my face. How could she do that? Everyone’s seemed to be in her own hands. When Mina is there, everyone will follow. She’s the center of everything.

  
  
  


“So, Ms. Class President. Shall we continue?” Mina said and offered me a smirk.

  
  
  


The discussion went well with Mina helping me to get our classmates focused on the topic. We ended up choosing a great song. We also divided the whole class according to the tone of their voices. We arranged the song and brought up some melodies. We tried singing the song all at once and I was surprised when we actually harmonized.

  
  
  


*

  
  


Nayeon was about to go to the bathroom when she saw Jeongyeon sitting on the bench. She shyly approach her and gave her a notepad that she made which contains the song lyrics for them to use during their practice.

  
  
  


“Hey Jeongyeon, here’s a copy of the song,” she said, handling the small notepad.

  
  
  


“Oh thank you Nayeon, you made this?”

  
  
  


“Uhmm yeah. Since I promised the whole class that I would.”

  
  
  


“You’re really patient about this whole thing.”

  
  
  


“I have too, I guess…..Oh! could you give this to Mina?”

  
  
  


Jeongyeon glanced at the song copy full of encouraging words every verse. Definitely made special for Mina. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked intently at the girl in front of her.

  
  
  


“Since they mentioned that music was her weak subject, I thought she could use some motivation,” she grinned. “And also, could you tell her that I am very sorry about yesterday. You know…P.E. class. I didn’t really mean to say that at all. I just- they were all teasing and I have to say that I-”

  
  
  


“Nayeon, you’re rambling. You know what, you’re probably the first person who had enough courage to say that to her,” Jeongyeon smiled.

  
  
  


“Oh,” Nayeon said, not really sure if it was a good thing. There was a slight pause. “I couldn’t really tell if she’s nice or rude. I don’t really get her sometimes but she could drag people towards her.”

  
  
  


“What?” Jeongyeon furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She doesn't really understand what Nayeon is trying to say.

  
  
  


“Like for example, there’s always this kid who owns the ball….and everyone else around her gets excited thus they follow her wherever she goes. One’s the owner of the ball is gone, everyone will be gone too. That kid who is the center of everything. I admire Mina because she’s that kid,” She glances at Jeongyeon noticing that she was even more confused about what she said.

  
  
  


“Uhm, never mind. See you later.” And just like that Nayeon disappeared from the pile of students heading to the cafeteria.

  
  


“What do you think about her?” Jeongyeon asked.

  
  


She turned around to hand Mina the notepad Nayeon made. Mina was basically just sitting there at the back hearing the whole conversation between her best friend and Nayeon.

  
  
  


“What do you mean?”

  
  
  


“She’s such an honest and straight-forward person.”

  
  
  


“You could say that.”

  
  
  


Mina browsed the pages of her copy and saw the different encouraging words written on it. She really can’t help but form a smile though when she sees the sign that reads ‘DO YOUR BEST’ on the back of the last page. She shook her head and smiled to herself, “Do my best, huh?”

  
  


*

  
  


After the last period, the school gave the students time to practice. All students were gathered up to their respective classrooms. Mina asked Momo if she could play the piano for the class, surprisingly she agreed. On the other hand, as the leader of the class I offered to be the one to conduct the whole song. Everyone’s giving their very best singing the song with emotion. Although everyone is focused, they can’t stop themselves from grinning when Mina starts singing totally out of tune.

  
  
  


Everybody was so much into the song when the piano suddenly stopped. Momo fell from the ground obviously in pain. Everyone stared down at her, eyes wide open, mouth slightly agape. Their feet seemed to be glued on the floor, no one really moved at first.

  
  
  


“Momo!” I shouted worriedly. And just like that, Mina came up to the girl who’s lying on the ground.

  
  
  


“Hey, are you okay?” Mina whispered, “Anemia again?” she reached for her neck and put two fingers to feel her pulse.

  
  
  


“Stop touching me!” Momo exclaimed and pushed Mina off of her. But Mina didn't move an inch.

  
  
  


“Come here,” Mina insisted as she carried Momo towards the door.

  
  
  


I was standing in front of both of them completely shocked about what just happened. It felt as if the two have this different connection between them which I didn't know. Momo just always acts as if she hates Mina. Obviously, I wasn't the only one with those thoughts as the others gasp as Mina held Momo closer to her.

  
  
  


“Hey, Ms. Class President!” Mina shouted. I almost jumped from her feet, forgetting about the situation.

  
  
  


“Oh yeah! Coming!”

  
  
  


The two of us brought Momo to the clinic. The nurse said that it was probably because of dehydration and that she just needs some water and some rest. We sighed in relief knowing that the girl lying on the bed will be fine and that it was nothing really serious. We thanked the nurse and left the clinic. As we walk in the hallways, I can’t help but become curious about what’s the real deal about Mina and Momo. I took a deep breath and gathered all the courage inside of me to ask some questions.

  
  
  


“Hey, are you friends with Momo?” I asked casually, biting my lip.

  
  
  


“She’s been my classmate since grade 9. Why?”

  
  
  


“Nothing. Really. I just wonder why she doesn’t want to hang out with anyone in the class….is she an only child?”

  
  
  


“No. She’s not an only child. She had an elder sister.”

  
  
  


Had? Had an elder sister what does that mean? I asked myself.

  
  
  


“Had?”

  
  
  


“Yeah, she died last year.”

  
  
  


“What? How?”

  
  
  


“Car accident.”

  
  
  


“Oh” I stopped walking suddenly, trying to take everything in. That must’ve been a horrible experience for Momo. Now I cannot blame her from wanting to be alone all the time. Maybe she’s still in the process of moving on.

  
  
  


“Why did you stop?”

  
  
  


“Sorry, I was just…. I don’t know what to say.”

  
  
  


“No, you don’t have to, actually. She doesn’t need your pity anyways,” Mina replied dismissively.

  
  
  


We went back to our classroom. Since Momo can’t practice anymore…we basically decided to call it a day. I went to the locker and put the books I don’t really need. I just couldn’t erase the thought of Mina and Momo being friends, it’s odd. Knowing Mina being popular and Momo being an introverted one, I just couldn’t picture it. But I can sense a different connection between the both of them…especially when I saw how Mina really cared for her. I shook my head of the thought invading my head. I should stop making assumptions, I said to myself.

  
  
  


I walked towards the school’s gate when I saw the bus already moving. I literally ran and tapped the side of the bus for it to stop. I quickly jumped inside, my chest was heaving. I looked around for a seat and saw Jeongyeon sitting at the back. I waved at her and she recognized me. We talked about a lot of things including how her and Mina basically have known each other since they were 6. It actually feels good knowing your classmates even better. Until we ended up talking about Momo and her sister’s accident.

  
  
  


“Maybe she hasn’t really moved on,” I shrugged.

  
  
  


“But isn’t it strange? I never saw her breakdown or even cry after the incident.”

  
  
  


“Maybe she’s just a strong girl.”

  
  
  


“Well maybe, but I would prefer if she let us see the different side of her. Her weakness. I am her friend too, and I am really worried.”

  
  
  


I shifted on my seat and glanced at the girl next to me. “Were you close to her?”

  
  
  


“Yeah, I told you. We’ve been friends since we were younger.”

  
  


I furrowed my eyebrows, "Who exactly are you talking about?”

  
  
  


Jeongyeon stared at me. I can tell that she doesn’t want to tell the exact story and I respect that.

  
  
  


“Momo’s sister was the one who died right?” I added.

  
  
  


“Yeah, she was Mina’s girlfriend.”

  
  
  


My head went blank after what I just heard. Now it all makes sense to me. That’s why she looks in so much pain although she tries to fake it out all the time. I know by just looking at her that she’s in constant agonizing sorrow. It was breaking her from inside out. It must’ve felt torture every single day knowing that the girl that you loved passed away. And that she will never come back. She never will.

  
  
  


When I look at Mina, all I see is this perfect girl with a perfect body and perfect face. She was different from the others. Who would’ve thought that someone like her is experiencing this unvarying misery? Her laugh is still contagious even though it was so forced. Although she can be rude sometimes I still find myself supporting her, admiring her. I want to ease the pain she’s feeling. I find myself falling for her, every time I look at her. I want to help her. I find myself wanting to make her happy. And I will.


	2. Fragile

_“She was Mina's girlfriend.”_

  
  


These are the words running through my head as I gaze down the window of our classroom. It has the impeccable view of the park where I first met Mina. I sighed as I remember the short but meaningful conversation I had with the said girl.

_“Problems are something that only living people have, right?”_

I wasn't sure what she meant back then. But now, it somehow makes sense. Was she implying that a part of her died when her loved one passed away?

I shook my head from my thoughts, it’s not ideal to just assume everything. And as if the universe could somehow read my mind, Jeongyeon and Mina walked by the park. Both girls were giggling about something. I let out a small smile when Mina lightly shoved Momo’s shoulder before letting out a contagious laugh.

Mina looks like anything out of the ordinary. The way she casually thumbs through her hair while smiling from ear to ear makes my heart leap in ways that I couldn't explain. Ironically, it also tugs a nerve in my heart knowing how beyond those twinkling eyes and humorous laugh, was something very fragile.

  
  


*

  
  


I looked at my wrist watch as I barge in the door of the classroom, 7:59 am. I breathe a sigh of relief as I settle down at my desk. I looked over at Momo who was busy reading a book by herself beside me. I was about to greet her when someone I overheard my classmates talking.

“Hey, look what I found in the library!”

“No way! Is that the class photobook from last year?”

“Yes! Mina’s ex should be right here.”

“Really? Let me see!”

“Oh, there she is.”

“She’s so pretty.”

“No wonder Mina fell for her.”

“She looks so joyful. Are you sure Momo is her sister?”

“Hey!

“We wouldn't be able to beat her then.”

“Yes because she's dead.”

How could some people be so insensitive? I looked over at Momo worriedly to look at her reaction but all I see is her perpetually cold face as she sits silently. Her book has now been discarded. I know she was trying so much to hold her emotion in. I sighed, I wish people are not afraid to show their true feelings.

  
  


*

  
  


Hours feels like seconds and it's already homeroom class. It was a very hectic day since we have to perform the day after tomorrow. Giving her a once over, Momo looks like she’s in a better shape now. Although I can’t help but to be worried so I check on her from time to time.

I know it was very unusual but Mina looks at her as if she was more than worried. As if there’s something deeper than the fact that she’s her dead lover’s sister.

I sighed. Looking at Mina, she’s likes to take care of everyone. I can't help but think if there's someone taking good care of her. Where does she run to when everything seems to be chasing her. I bit my lip, my heart was beating so fast. I wish I could be that person for Mina.

Our practice was finished after a couple of hours. I was still practically begging for the whole class to go over the song one more time but they were completely spent. I sighed and waved my hand as a sign they're allowed to go. I could say I was happily satisfied today except the time when Jihyo and Tzuyu kept teasing me about Mina.

“Mina is so cute,” JI hyo grinned, “She’s totally off key a few minutes ago. I can’t help but laugh while singing.”

“I know,” Tzuyu agreed, “But I have to say I am a little jealous Mina sings while looking at the notes Nayeon made,” she teased.

“Shut up!” I bowed my head, as I hid my crimson red cheeks.

I bid my goodbye to my friends before glancing at Momo who was packing her bags, ready to leave.

“Hey, Momo,” I said, shifting one foot from another.

“Hi,” Momo replied dismissively.

I scanned Momo’s face and I couldn't help but think that she looks pretty behind those thick glasses and fringe that almost cover half of her face. I wonder if Momo’s a split alike version of her sister. Does Mina care about her so much because she reminds her of her dead lover?

“Sorry, but do you need something? Because I have to go,” Momo added seizing me out of my thoughts and making me jump a little.

“Oh, sorry,” I shook my head, “But do you feel alot better now? I mean considering last time you fell from the-”

“If you're asking me if I would be able to still play. I would. Don't worry, Ms. Class president,” Momo replied, completely ignoring me as she rushed through the door. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. How Momo manages to be so emotionless all the time- not to mention keep her monotonous voice is beyond me.

I decided to shrug yet another rejection from the said girl, I thought maybe it’s time to drop the hopes of being friends with her.

So instead, I walked through the almost empty hallways of the campus to go to my locker. Until I heard the sudden drop of the rain from the window building. I immediately looked for my scarf and umbrella inside the locker. Thankfully, the umbrella was there but the latter wasn’t. I rushed to our classroom and sighed when I found it on my desk. I was about to turn around when I saw the photobook lying at the table near the door. The object of the commotion earlier this morning.

I scratched my forehead trying to debate with my logic. It’s never good to put your nose in other people's business. I bit my lip, a quick peek wouldn't hurt right? I succumbed to my temptation and dropped my bag beside me as I sat on my desk, both hands holding the book.

I curiously thumb through the pages. Looking over so many faces that I don't even recognize. I realized that every year, the school compiles different photos from every event. I smiled when I stumbled upon a photo of Jeongyeon holding a trophy, probably when she won the race during last year’s school festival. She was wearing a white shirt with blue track pants, a radiant beam plastered on her face.

I mentally kick myself when I realize I can't be distracted and can't take my time especially now. I just couldn't risk someone seeing me looking over the photobook. Not when I want Jihyo and Tzuyu to stop teasing me around Mina every chance they got.

With a rush, I went through the pages until I reached the class picture section of the book, “Hirai….Hirai…” I murmured looking over so many faces. Thinking that one of them is Mina’s dead lover.

“Class B,” someone said behind me and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. I whipped my head and there Mina was, standing on the door frame. One hand leaning on the door, the other holding her messenger bag.

I quickly hid the photobook under the table. My face turned beet red realizing I got caught. Worse, it was Mina who caught me. Great. Just Great.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” I reasoned poorly.

Mina let out a low laugh, “Can I see it? I haven't seen it either.”

“Aren’t you going to scold me?”

I sat there awkwardly as Mina tried to approach me, “Why would I?”

She quickly grabbed a chair and sat in front of me. She leaned in with both her hands sitting on the desk. She cocked her head to the side. She was so close I could smell her perfume, is that jasmine? I mentally took note of that before my eyes stumbled upon the moles scattered on her face. I never knew there were a lot of them until now. There were small almost minute ones on her cheeks aside from the prominent ones on the bridge of her nose, and around her lips. Her lips.

I had to look away quickly as I was staring too much. I gulped before I fished the photobook I had hidden away.

Mina raised an eyebrow as a way to tease me and I looked down as I was already blushing profusely.

I let her go through the photobook as I watched intently. Finally, she stopped and tapped her finger on a certain photo of a short haired girl.

She was so pretty, the first thing I thought. I couldn't expect less really when she made Mina fall for her. And not when almost half of the school is envious of that fact.

“She’s beautiful,” I said, not looking away from the photo.

“I know. She's even more beautiful in person,” Mina replied, voice laced with sincerity.

“I knew you would say that,” I can't help but let out a low laugh, “Did you like her immediately?”

“I always knew her since we were kids. But she really caught my eye one day and I knew I had fallen in love with her.”

“Did you confess right away?”

“Yes. Of course. But she was dating someone else.”

“Oh,” I said, looking up at Mina whose eyes are fixed on her dead lover’s photo, “What did you do then?”

“I persuaded her to leave him and choose me instead,” Mina shrugged.

Oh. There was a beat of silence. Was Mina’s life this complicated? Does she like the chase? I can't help but ask myself. I look at Mina and think how could she possibly be so carefree about things that obviously matters to her. How does she keep the whole facade that's blocking everyone that wants to get to know her? I bit my lip, and glanced at Mina’s eyes, I have so many questions but only those brown orbs have the answer.

“I think...I think I like you.”

Mina looked up, with an unreadble expression. Her eyes met mine and that's when I realized that I was thinking out loud.

I immediately panicked and swallowed heard thinking of a way out of yet another embarrassing situation, “I mean, is that h-how you told her when you confessed and-”

Mina leaned closer, so close that I could feel her warm breath on my skin.

“Wanna date me then?”

I stopped myself from rambling after I heard those words, something in my stomach tightened, “What did you say?”

“I asked if you wanna date me?”

“What are you saying all of a sudden?”

“What? You're the first one who said you liked me so I'm asking if you wanna date.”

My heart was beating so fast I could hear it ring in my ears, “Do you mean that?”

Mina leaned back on her chair and just shrugged. Oh.

“Do you like me?” I asked once more, trying to keep my calm front.

“I mean, I don't hate you, so,” Mina’s voice trailed and I frowned. My heart that was threatening to jump out of my chest seemed to stop as I grip hard on my skirt.

I tried offering a small smile, “You know that's not how it works, right?”

Mina bowed her head down as if the floor was suddenly interesting, “Honestly,” she whispered, her soft voice mingling with the sound of the heavy downpour outside, “I am not really sure about how I feel.”

I blinked and before the words could even register to my already tangled brain, Mina swiftly grabbed her bag and left.

I sighed, what was I expecting really? Mina wouldn't like me. She's a million miles away out of my league. She couldn't have been serious about going out with someone like me. I peeked at the photo lying on my desk and smiled defeatedly.

*

**Mina’s POV**

I walked home letting the heavy downpour seep into my clothes. I shivered lightly as a particular wind hit my already drenched body. I gaze at the dark sky hovering everything around me, exactly like in my life, I thought, the rain doesn't seem to stop.

_“Hello, Mina, you look pretty today.”_

_“Mina thanks for the scarf. I love it! It keeps me warm.”_

_“Mina, thanks for walking me home today!”_

I bowed my head, and walked aimlessly, everything felt so fragile. It feels like everything could be gone in a second and it won't matter.

_“Mina, will you make me happy?”_

_“Oh this? Don't worry we just had a fight.”_

_“Mina is that a bruise on your face? Please, promise me you won't go and fight with him like this again. Promise?”_

Everything feels so blank.

*

“Oh god Mina, did you forget your umbrella again?” my mother hurried and grabbed a small towel to wipe my face.

“Im fine, Mom. Sorry I’m quite late.”

She smiled and rubbed my shoulder, “It’s okay, honey. Go on and change clothes. You’ll catch your cold.”

“Did you remember to take your medicine?”

“Of course,” She let a low laugh, “How could I forget when you literally remind me every five minutes. The food’s ready by the way.”

“Alright,” I nodded, “I’ll just go change give me a few minutes.”

I quickly shut the door as I made it to my room. I sighed. Slightly relieved that I manage to get through the day. Coming home late is almost like a habit now. Some nights, if I get lucky, I would go home so late and my mother is already sleeping soundly in her bed. This just gives me the opportunity to avoid any form of conversation. If I am being honest the best part of my day is being alone, confined in the four walls of my small room.

“My test result will be released this month,” my mother said, munching her rice, no sign of tension in her features.

I swallowed, “Tell me when and I'll come with you.”

“No honey, you can't skip just because of this, okay?”

“Okay.”I said, “There's a higher possibility that it’ll be good news, right?”

“Yes. I told you. This is just a heavy cough. Nothing serious. So be at ease, alright?”

I nodded and smiled, “Alright...”

“Will you be able to come by the day after tomorrow? Our whole class is performing on stage.”

“Really? What are you performing?”

“A song.”

Mom snorted, “I didn't know you sing now? You're my child but you sing like a drunk person.”

“Mom!” I whined playfully.

She grinned before drinking her water, “I’ll come by when I can.”

  
  


*

  
  


“But guys, did you hear how Mina sings?” Jeongyeon teased, which made the others chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah! She was totally off,” Jennie said giggling as she sipped her coffee.

“You should thank your classmates, they manage to save you by singing louder,” Jisoo added.

“Oh come one!” I whined, “Did both of you come all the way here just to roast me?”

I rolled my eyes and focused on sipping my own drink. It’s always refreshing to see my friends. I have concluded that they are the sole reason as to how I manage to be sane until this day despite everything that happened. I am just thankful that I get to have a comforting company once in a while.

“Actually, yes,” Jennie replied, “Guess what? I took a video and-”

I quickly stood up and tried to snatch her phone, “Hey!” I whined, rather loud which caused the other students in the cafe to whip their heads at our directions.

I bit my lip, “Whatever,” I shrugged.

My phone went off so I quickly fished it inside my bag, a message from my mother appeared: ‘I’m sorry I didn’t make it. I’ll make it up to you next time!’ I scoffed lightly, what do I expect?

I didn’t know I was out of it for quite a while until Jeongyeon seized me out of my thought, “Something wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing important,” I said and hid my phone in my pocket.

Suddenly, some of our classmates entered the cafe and waved in our direction, they then took the seats right beside us. I risked a peek at Nayeon but quickly looked away when I saw her piercing eyes looking right through me.

“Oh by the way, please meet our friends,” Jeongyeon said, “This is Jennie and Jisoo.” The two girls then bowed to the group.

“Wait, aren’t you the one who was in the center?” Jisoo asked, cocking her head to the side, “The one conducting the song?”

  
I catch a glimpse of Nayeon shyly nodding her head, “Yes.”

“You did a great job.”

“Thank you very much.”

They proceeded to have a small talk while I chose to focus my attention on eating my meal. I sighed, remembering the last time Nayeon and I talked. What was I thinking? How could I blurt out words just like that. Contemplating, I asked myself if I would be able to return someone’s feelings now? Probably not. I turned to my side and saw Nayeon giggling with another student and I can’t help but form a little smile myself.

“Well, at least Momo looks a little better now,” Jennie offered after a while, bringing me back to reality.

“Oh, right, remember when her sister died? She didn’t even cry and what did she say? Something like...something like she got served what she deserved,” Jisoo replied.

“Yeah, what a horrible thing to say I can't-” Jennie was not able to finish what she was about to say when Nayeon to everyone’s shock, cut her off, “I’m sorry, but isn’t that a little sensitive topic to talk about right now?”

I just observed the exchange with an indifferent expression. Until everyone gathered what she meant and suddenly apologizes to me. Then there was a beat of awkward silence.

I scoffed playfully, “Why is everybody so serious?” I let a forced chuckle and everyone sighed in relief.

Nayeon turned to face me with a sympathetic look, “Mina, actually we understand that you-”

“Nayeon,” I said coldly, “Shut up and do not butt in like that again.”

The said girl was taken aback by my words, I looked over and saw her eyes nailed at mine. It was glazed, tears threatening to fall and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“Jerk!” She hissed, grabbing her bag, everyone’s eyes following her as she quickly leaves the place. I just tried to brush it off by focusing on my friends.

“Why do you think she said that?” Jeongyeon’s tone is a little serious, “Who do you think she is trying to protect?”

  
  


Is she really trying to protect me? Is that what she is really trying to do? I asked myself as I jogged away from the cafe to wherever Nayeon went. I don’t need anyone to protect me. All my life, I have become accustomed to being the strong one. The one who’s not easily affected by anything. The one who shows no sign of vulnerability.

“Nayeon!” I yelled, panting and wiping my head from the beads of sweat forming on my forehead. Yet, the other girl won’t turn around. Gathering the energy I have left, I sprinted towards her and grabbed her arm.

“Don’t touch me!” She hissed and swatted my hand away. “You are such a jerk! How could I even like you? How could anyone like you?” She added between sobs. I just stood there, tongue tied with both feet planted on the floor as she continued, “What I said before, I take it back. You’re a bad person and-”

“You take it back?” I replied, “You’re just like the other girls then,”

She scoffed, “I hate the kind of you. What even is that ‘wanna date me?’ bullshit? Do you think it’s fun to play with people’s feelings? How could you be like that? Didn’t your parents raise you well? Your mom probably doesn’t love you because you’re rude, stupid and-”

“Wow,” I said, taken aback, “Such filthy words coming from you,” I let out a low laugh realizing the absurdity of the situation, “But I guess you’re right. My mom doesn’t love me,” I continued, looking at her eyes intently as I uttered the next few words, “My mom and my dead lover are both damned woman.”

  
  


*

**Nayeon’s POV**

_How could a 17 year old woman_

“When Mina was young, she and her Mom had to transfer to Korea from Japan. She told me that’s because her mother is trying to keep her away from her father. Mina told me she never saw her dad. That’s because she was born an illegitimate child.”

_so young and fragile_

“Her father was married to another woman whom he can’t bear a child with. But even though that’s the case, her father won’t choose her mother. So Mina thinks that the only reason why her mother decided to have her, is to have some form of revenge to her father, and not because she loves her.”

  
  


_could have such a complex life?_

"Her ex girlfriend was with her lover the day she died. So in a way, Mina feels like her mom and her dead lover are the same. She never cried when it happened because instead of thinking that she lost her, she thinks she betrayed her. And that she never really loved Mina.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @minaxnayeon

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: @minaxnayeon


End file.
